Posted by
Charles Mudgeon on Tuesday, May 01, 2007 3:01:45 PM
If someone gave you a VT lapel pin today, and said, "All of us are going to wear these to show our support for Virginia Tech," what would you do? Would you wear it or not?
I suspect most of us would wear it. I also suspect that some of us would feel pressured to wear it, even if we didn't want to do so. I would put myself in the second group. The older I get, the less likely it is that I would actually wear the pin.
It isn't that I don't feel compassion for the people at Virginia Tech. I do. And if asked to support them in any real way, I probably would. But I would resent maneuvering by anyone to make me feel obligated to go along with a meaningless gesture.
The day after the Virginia Tech shootings, the Washington Nationals baseball team, with the support of Major League Baseball, went out and bought Virginia Tech baseball caps at various sporting goods stores. All the caps hadn't arrived by the time the game started, but soon all the Nationals were wearing VT caps. The players were saying, "Hey, guys, we're thinking about you."
That was the first and last non-self-serving show of support that Virginia Tech received. After that, all the others were saying, "Hey, guys, we're thinking about you - and aren't we wonderful people for doing so." The more time between the tragic event and the show of support, the more emphasis should be placed on the second part.
Perhaps you tuned into ESPN's coverage of the NFL draft last Saturday. If you did, you may have noticed that everyone on the various sets was wearing a VT lapel pin. The pins were supplied by the NFL.
My favorite liberal, Tony Kornheiser, was kvetching about it on is radio show. He felt uncomfortable wearing the pin and he didn't want to do it. But he did.
Even though the pins were distributed by a group other than his employer (the NFL), the pressure to conform was too great to withstand. It would have created too much of an "incident" if he refused. So Tony Kornheiser caved and is feeling terrible about himself ever since. He should have stuck to his guns.
What, you may ask, is so bad about wearing a simple lapel pin to show you care? Nothing. But I ask, what is so good about it? Why should I let someone else tell me what I ought to care about? What right does someone else have to shame me into conforming to their view of the proper thing to do?
I'm a big boy and I know how much I care about something and how much of that caring I choose to show to the world. Wearing a pin does not increase or decrease that. How much I care - or don't care - is none of anyone else's business. If I want you to know, I'll tell you. Until then, butt out. Don't try to shape me into something you have decided is appropriate.
People should be able to say, "I don't want to," without casting themselves as a pariah. Some of us mouth the words that we value the individual over the group. But how many of those same people surrender to group-think at the first opportunity? How many of us are programmed to go along for the "common good" lest someone think we don't care?
Eric Sevareid said that dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks. Every time we do something that we don't really want to do, part of our individuality is nibbled away and the robot mentality takes a greater hold.
It looks to me like the ducks are winning.